Abstract & fiftytwo

"I’m catching my second wind again"

Tonight I got some supportive comments on Flickr and tried to make something happen and something did happen. I figured out a pretty nice way to combine my fiftytwo-struggle and my James Dean -struggle. I've tried to come up with a non-boring way to capture this super-cool banner I have and this is what I finally came up with.

More

I went back to that gazebo today and took some more shots. The same concept, I know, but bare with me. :)







And I did some vintage tweeking on one of the yesterday's photos.

Gaaaaah

I'm trying to figure out what to do for this weeks fiftytwo-photo...I don't have any ideas. :/

Concentrating on the positives in the middle of the negatives.

So many bad things have happened to me and my family lately that it would be extremely easy to get depressed, but instead I decided to concentrate on the positive things. For example, my new car. :)

Taking these photos made me nauseous and gave me a headache but at least they came out pretty good.

52 weeks

I'm thinking about taking on the 52-challenge in Flickr...A self-portrait per week for a year. It could be fun, now that I've gotten into it. Might help me with my self-esteem issues too.

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Wow, what a horrible weekend. I think I'm trough with being sad..for now at least. I don't feel like crying anymore, since it's not gonna bring him back or do any good.
Now I'm just numb. I don't really feel anything. I often find myself just sitting somewhere, staring to the distance. As if the time has just stopped for me.
I'm starting to think that I haven't really assimilated this whole thing yet. Sometimes I just stare at his pictures and can't believe that he's gone. Forever. And sometimes I just stare at his pictures and try to feel something. But I don't. Just plain emptiness. Eating alone seems to be the hardest part. 'Cos he was always there when someone ate. Now I don't feel like eating, 'cos it's so weird.
Most of the time I just try not to think about this all. That's where my, oh so unbeatable, imagination helps a lot. I start reading something or watching tv or a movie and I'm gone. It's always been rather easy for me to escape from reality.

But something positive for a change; I'm getting my car today. I'm gonna get to drive him. He's fixed! I'm excited about that. I just payed for my mom, 800 €, so he's almost-officially mine. Officially enough for me. Let's not go to the almost-part.
Better sound-system, more power, more beautiful...<3 Not that I don't miss my old car, but I've come to terms with the fact that he was just a car. Now that I've lost something much more precious and living, I'm seeing things from better and healthier perspective. He was just a peace of metal (even though I call it as a 'he') and I had him only for a year. And that's that.

Ms. Napkinhead

If I was to take on the 365-challenge in Flickr (which I'm not, but if I did), it would probably become "How to hide your face in 365 ways"-challenge...

Here's how I would express my feelings today.